i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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