garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
