dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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