I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
