dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sext me about skeletons
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
