Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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