My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
