and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
