You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
