Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
