You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
