idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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