Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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