take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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