I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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