what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
