And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
