that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
