Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
