just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
