Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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