we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
