so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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