she woke up with a sticky ear
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
