I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I looked at my own cervix.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
