I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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