Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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