if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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