i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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