Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
