Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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