She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
