is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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