i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
