Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
