The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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