...so i touched it.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
