I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
