Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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