Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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