how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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