Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
