...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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