Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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