Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think people are normalizing furries
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
