Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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