About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
