What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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