Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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