im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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