I want to make a zoo with you.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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