i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
