time to smoke my breakfast
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i black out too much to be "responsible"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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