things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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