dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
