Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
