I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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