Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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