I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
