At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
