Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
