I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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