He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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